I think the difference this time around is that I love Weston more for who he is, rather than what he does and when he does it.
While Bryan and I were sitting in the living room a few days ago, we looked down and saw Weston on the verge of rolling over. It took me a second to react, but I got up and ran to grab the video camera, knowing that this moment was captured for Wyatt (and later replayed over, and over, and over) and that it was my duty as a mom to make sure I caught it for Weston as well. Sure enough the battery was dead and while this would have led to an all out mother (literally) of a melt down should I have missed this moment the first time around, I was able to shrug it off and know that we could easily recreate the scene the next time he looked ready to topple over and play it off as his 'first'. No one knowing the difference... until he reads this blog someday that is.
When Wyatt was a baby I was always looking towards the future. So excited for what he was going to do next rather than enjoying whatever he was doing at that moment. With Weston I just love looking at him, listening to his little coos, and enjoying how much he loves snuggling... every second of the day, something his brother was not fond of and something that I love because its just 'our thing'. With Wyatt I was always getting out the next batch of clothes, 3-4 months in advance, anxious for all the big boy outfits he was going to get to wear. Now I live in denial, forcing little legs and arms into newborn jammies, not wanting to face the reality that yet another child of mine is growing up.
Sometimes I catch myself feeling guilty, like I really am giving into the idea that because he is the second child I don't have to do as much. Its not that you don't car, but everything just comes a little easier the second time around. The clothes are already there, the learning curve of raising an infant is a little smoother, and you already know the things that will make a difference in their lives... and what won't. You know about when they are going to do what and instead of constantly anticipating it, you kind of just wait for it to happen.
But then I see Wyatt. Anxiously laying by his brother on the floor, watching him hold his head up and yelling at me across the house, "MOMMMMMA! Brudder's head is up way high!!" He is so excited and proud and I realize that for him, this is the first time. He is living and feeling that action
packed excitement that I felt when he was a baby. Watching him experience that gives me a whole new rush and I realize that this really is the first time for me too. The first time I get to watch my oldest enjoy and relish in every new thing his brother gets to do. Instead of me teaching and working with Weston the way I constantly did with Wyatt, Wyatt now wants to sit on the floor and do tummy time with Weston. "Brudder needs to roll over today." he will tell me, much like a trainer at a gym as he prepares the blanket on the floor, making sure there are no wrinkles.Now that I have realized all the fun that lies ahead, basking in Weston's 'firsts' as a family; I am so excited to see what the future has in store for him.
As Wyatt would say...
Ready... go... set... GO!
